Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Vessel

It was my prayer yesterday for God to use me as a vessel that would touch and change lives that have been or are affected by infertility and/or infant loss.  Jesse and I were asked to be special guests on a taping of "The Praise the Lord Show" for our local TBN tv channel.  I was very hesitant and nervous about following God's request.  I talked the opportunity over with Jesse and decided that it was the right thing to do. 

Believe me when I say that the night before was a sleepless night.  I thought about all the things I wanted to say.  I also prayed that if we couldn't find the words in the moment that God would just speak through us.  I had Bible verses that I wanted to use to convey our message and story.  I had advice for those who are currently experiencing a broken heart.  I had words of wisdom for couples discouraged by months of failed cycles.  I had it all thought out the way I thought it should flow.  Either I forgot what I wanted to say or God changed what I was going to say.

I wanted to use words like; hope, grace, blessed.  Phrases like; "We stood in God's strength while we were weak,"  "You can give up the fight and rest, but be sure your at God's feet when you do,"  "God will carry you through," and "God will restore your joy."  I had bible verses that stood out to me during our trials (Ephesians 3:20, Isaiah 41:10, Philippians 4:6-7, Matthew 21:22, Joel 2:25,  Isaiah 61:3). 

Those who will watch this episode that will air on October 21 on Indianapolis Local TBN will not hear the words, phrases, and verses that I have mentioned.  Instead they will hear a heartfelt personal account of the events and trials that shape who we are today. 

I left the interview questioning whether or not we said the right things or answered all the questions the way we should have.  In fact I laid in bed last night thinking of everything I meant to say but didn't.  As I woke up this morning,  I thought to myself "what really helped you during your trials?...Was it constantly hearing bible verses or hearing phrases like the ones mentioned above that made all the difference?"  The answer is "no."  Hearing stories of what God has done and seeing couples "live again" was what kept me going. 

So, you won't get a rehearsed speech using God phrases, but rather a very real picture of a family that leaned on God when they couldn't stand on their own, a family that turned to God when giving up would have been easier, a family that has truly been blessed beyond measure.  I hope that looking at us is enough to see that God is alive in our hearts and He is the reason we have made it through.  

To God be all the Glory!!

 "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17



4 comments:

Missy said...

Your last paragraph said it all perfectly!!! All too often we want to use the perfect Bible verse or the perfect "God sentence" we can find. And sometimes those are the right things but most times we just need to hear the raw and real and know that if we have moments where we question Him or what He is doing and maybe don't lean so heavily on His word or promises at times, that we are still normal. As Christians sometimes we try so hard to paint the "perfect" picture when in all reality He created us to be crazy artist who grow in our struggles and weaknesses. Sounds to me like God used you as a vessel and that He had other plans than the message you planned. To God be the Glory!

Hillary said...

How exciting that you were able to share your story and change lives! Maybe when it airs you can put a link on your blog for us to watch it?

Lots of love xoxox

Laura Ryan Caden Will said...

this is so great! We know that HE is always in control but it can be hard to remember during those "real" times of trial. Cant wait to watch it.

CaSondra Shim said...

I hope to watch this or at least tape it! I live in Carmel,IN- didn't realize you were so close! Thank you for sharing your right- YOUR REAL LIFE story of how GOD is working in your life despite "bad things" happening and how HE got you through these times are the most powerful! Thanks for sharing! GOD DID use you!

 
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