so I will remember....

I catch myself stepping back and looking at the three children standing at my feet, and I am in shock/awe that 'that are really MINE!!'  We waited so long for this, and when I stop and really think about it...the miracle that they are just amazes me.  God's promises are so true!   "I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13

Cayden, Brock and Lynlee all have distinct personalities and traits.  I want to remember them forever...but my memory isn't the best these days!!  So here is a post just so I will remember....

~ With outreached arms C says "I love you DIS much!"
~ C also says "I love you back and moon"----so cute!!
~ C is now potty trained, and he will say 'point it down' everytime he goes into bathroom!
~Morning moochies are a must for C and I!
~At night, C will tell us " 5 minutes in your bed...5 minutes"  He really loves to snuggle!
~C has inherited my love for ice cream and he calls it ice-em.
~C says "don't worry bout it" and "you kiddin' me".......it is the cutest thing ever!!

~B is a very picky eater...but he loves blueberry pancakes.
~ B LOVES baby einstein and praise baby videos.....he will just sit and stare! 
~B's speech consists of very cute nasal-y sounds...just a few common words and the rest is alien talk.
~B has the cutest giggle. 
~B really is related to monkeys---he can climb anything.

~L is an incredible eater...but she despises blueberry pancakes.
~L is the leader and bully in the twin relationship.
~L smiles with her mouth wide open...we love it!
~L shakes her head "no,no" with the cutest giggle and grin...she is ROTTEN.
~L has really captured my heart....I feared being a mom to a little girl...but she has definitely turned that all around.

That is all for now..just a few of the things I couldn't possibly get enough of.  I don't let a day go by that I don't thank God for these miracles. 

Naked Cowboys and Tutu's!!

We recently had the twins' one year photo shoot....it was a little over a month late!!  Just trying to buy time!  I know I have been MIA over here in blogland, but we have been so busy.  I have a to-do list a mile long...and it keeps growing!   We are super excited to be breaking ground on our NEW HOME in just a few short weeks! 

We purchased an RV this summer as well, so we took our first family camping trip in our own camper...it was a blast...looking forward to many more! 

I absolutely LOVED every picture that our photographer was able to capture...I would love to share all of them with you, but due to the public being able to see everything...I elect not to post the most adorable naked booty pics....just picture a little naked cowboy/cowgirl in hat and boots!!!

Without further ado:

~12 Months~

Though the post is nearly 3 weeks late, the pictures and information are correct for exactly 12 months!  This mommy was just hoping she was dreaming. 

~Brock Adam~

* Weighs in at 18# 8oz and 29" long! 

*Wears 9 month clothing. His shorts are 3-6 mo though! 

*Very picky eater!!

*Sleeps about 11-12 hours at night.

*2 solid naps during day.

*3rd tooth just popped through on birthday.

*Had tubes for ear infections. 

~Lynlee Grace~

*Weighs in at 19# 8oz and 28 1/2" long.

*Wears 9 and 12 mo clothing.

*Loves to eat!

*Sleeps 11-12 hours at night.

*2 solid naps during day.

*7 teeth

*a small dose of comic relief*

Many would probably be going insane at this point, but I am taking it in stride and considering it all joy.  There is never a dull moment in our lives, especially with 3 under the age of 3!!!  (It sounded so much crazier when I could say 3 under the age of 2!!)  I try to find something to laugh about in every situation, and I really found myself laughing this morning while most would have been screaming and crying! 

So about two days ago, Brock and Lynlee started taking turns being really fussy.  Like "hold me while I kick, scream, flail all over the place for more than 15 minutes."  I was beginning to wonder if colic was haunting us again.  Little sleep and cranky! 

Around that time, Cayden started to have a really runny nose....I assumed just allergy or common cold. 

Monday night ended with me needing a nerve pill to finally relax.  Tuesday night finally ended at midnight when Cayden crashed.  Last night, I thought for just a single moment I was in Heaven....on our way home from supper out (because lately the mess that supper creates at our house...leaves me ready to cry), all three children fell asleep.  We were able to successfully put them all to bed by 8:00!!!  I quickly jumped into my pj's, grabbed the remote, and headed to bed.

 It was short lived my friends.  Lynlee started crying....which lasted for 45 minutes.  As soon as I got her comfortable and back to bed, I slowly crept back to our room.  It wasn't 10 minutes and Cayden started coughing really really bad.  I went down and got him some cough syrup, woke him to take it, and he went back to sleep.

Peace....oh nevermind...he started coughing again.  15 minutes later he was standing by my bed crying that his chest hurt, and saying "me no feel good mommy, snuggle."  The thought of sharing my bed with only my husband for the night quickly vanished. 

About that time, my wonderful hubby who was oblivious to all of the commotion (he was soaking up alone time in the garage) and thought his beautiful bride would be "waiting" for him came upstairs...excited as well to share the bed with only his wife...but to his surprise, he found a mommy snuggling her another little man...sorry daddy! 

Cayden continued to cough and cough and cough.  We got him a cough drop and something to drink, and he was snoring away 20 minutes later.  Jesse took him back to his bed, and we thought our night was over. 

I didn't fall asleep until 1145, to be awakened at 1:00 by the smell of vomit and pitiful looking child standing at my bedside "momma, pook" (aka puke). 

I was to tired to even think about cleaning bedsheets, so we put him in our bed and thought once again our night was over. 

1:15....Lynlee is crying again.  Jesse took her down to rock.   I managed to fall asleep between the constant coughing in my ear.  2:00 Jesse returns to bed with Lynlee who is WIDE AWAKE. 

I suggested just laying her in her bed, and letting her put herself to sleep...which she did...an hour later!! 

You are probably thinking, "oh my goodness, how does she do it?" or if you are walking the ugly road of infertility you are thinking "what I wouldn't give for a night like that!"  I consider this all joy and laughing material, because I was remember those thoughts, and I wouldn't give this life up for anything!

My blogging friends, it gets better or worse (depending on how you are looking at the situation!) 

I was awakened at 630 to two screaming babies ready to start their day.  They were covered in GREEN snot!!  Cayden had also woken himself up from coughing so hard. 

I snuggled them all on the couch waiting for the Dr's office to open at 8:00.  I aspirated lots of nasty green snot from all three children. Listened as Cayden was wheezing while breathing. Asking"why them again?" 

The DR's office was able to get all three in at 10:15.  I quickly got the babies breakfast, to which they made a complete mess with.  I knew they all NEEDED baths, because I put them to bed last night really dirty (but hey, I was just so elated that they were all asleep by 8...or so I thought!) 

So, at 9:00 we headed upstairs for quick baths...or so I thought!! 

I am a super talented super mom (comic relief, folks), so I am able to bathe all three at once.  I got Lynlee out, dried off, and sent her on her merry naked way.  I then proceeded to dry Brock off and sent him on his way.  I no more than hung the towel up and looked into hallway to find......

Poop....yes, lots of poop.  Poop on the closet doors, poop on the floor, poop all over Lynlee like lotion, poop in dog's mouth, poop in Lynlee's hands headed for her mouth.  Friends, if I didn't have a two year old still in the tub....I totally would have taken a picture!!

I quickly turned to Cayden and told him he had better hightail it out of the tub, or he was going to take a bath in Lynlee's poo.  I don't think I have seen him move so quickly.  He laughed... I laughed!

I managed to get them dressed, all while praying they wouldn't crawl off to the pooped smeared hallway.  I loaded them up and left my house smelling like last night's vomit and this morning's poop!!

I usually take someone with me to help at the DR's office, but not today....super mom wanted to tackle this alone!! 

I will save you some time and just say the Dr was really in awe at my crazy life.  She tripped over tractors, had bubbles spilled all over her exam room floor, watched as Cayden drank bubbles, giggled as not one of my children was cooperative while being examined.  I didn't has much flinch....because this is everyday LIFE for me.  A LIFE that I dreamed of, a LIFE that I wanted. 

Oh, you are probably wondering what was wrong with them.  Oh yes, the real reason for the extreme chaos the last few days.  Well, you have probably guessed it.  Brock and Lynlee have ear infections AGAIN, and  Cayden has croup/RSV AGAIN!!

We grabbed prescriptions and headed home.  I thought about just continuing to drive on by our house....because remember the smell of vomit and poop was going to be there to invite us in. 

All three were asleep, so I took them to their beds, which is upstairs, where I needed to clean....but I can't wake sleeping children...so blogging about the craziness seemed like a better idea than cleaning. 

I am laughing as I am looking around at the mess surrounding me, and thanking God for the blessings of this life.  Yes, I consider these trials blessings. 

Do you take trials such as these and allow them to rule your life and mood?  Never take a minute of this life for granted...even if it occasionally smells like dried vomit and poop! 

 ^"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,    because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.    Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

****Please note:  We are not dirty people, my house is actually pretty clean.  I am distraught that my children keep getting sick, but I have to find comic relief in the situation, or else I would really go insane.  Lynlee is getting tubes tomorrow!!!  Brock will see ENT next week and surgery will be scheduled for him as well.  If you wouldn't mind adding my children to your prayers...we would really appreciate it!! 

~11 Months~

I have noticed that I've consistently been about a week behind posting the monthly updates....I guess time is going to keep on ticking...sigh.

I honestly don't know how the last month got away from us. It flew by.  The babes aren't really babes anymore.  They are both getting so big in so many aspects of life. 

~Brock Adam~

~Around 17 1/2 lbs.
~Still such a gentle spirit with a contagious laugh. 

~Underwent his first surgery....appears to have been a success! 
~Has been illness FREE for about 2 weeks!
~Is a master of climbing the stairs, and throws an absolute fit when gated off of them!
~Has two teeth.

~Wears a variety of sizes.  6, 9, and some 12 month. 
~Size 3 diaper (I realize they have been in this size forever...it is because we got a great deal on size 3's, so we pretty much skipped 2's!)
~On all table food.  Not a huge fan at first, but we are slowly acclamating.
~Sleeps 8-7 most days, takes 2 naps.
~Says bath, mama, dada. 
~Loves to play "SO BIG."

~Lynlee Grace~

~Around 18 1/2 lbs
~Full of spunk!
~Had a few seizure like episodes this month....chalking it up to bad ear infection.
~Walks like a pro behind everything.
~Has 5 teeth...and more are sprouting.

~Wears variety of sizes...mostly 9 months.
~Size 3 diaper.
~LOVES to eat....just about anything.
~Sleeps 8-7 most days, takes 2 naps.

~Says bath, love, mama, dada, papaw.
~Started waving hi and bye-bye, claps, Started patty-cake.
~Loves to play "SO BIG."

Break Every Chain...

I have felt a new "freedom" for several months, and it needs to be shared.  So many of us live with things of the past that need to be let go of.  There was a sermon last year that changed something in me...  It was something that I was "holding on to."  We can't truly be free if we are holding onto even the smallest of things.  Our relationship with Christ can't mature and grow if we are letting something, someone, or sometime hold us back.  In a nutshell the sermon was about letting go of "baggage" from the past. 

Throughout the entire sermon there was a name that kept resounding in my head/mind.  The name of someone who my flesh likes to blame for my loss.  I have said that I have "forgiven" several times, but there was still a part of me that was "holding on," just so I would feel better about the entire situation. It always makes us feel better if we can point fingers at someone or something for the strongholds or situations in our lives. 

The disgusting selfish side of me felt better having someone to "blame."  While my heart knew that God was in control that night, my earthly flesh kept reminding me that there were others in control that night as well.  Holding onto my anger only kept me stirred about the situation. 

The song "Break every Chain" played during worship, and before I even knew what the sermon was about...God was stirring my heart.  He was speaking directly to me to "let go."  About mid sermon our pastor asked us to think about a time, person, stronghold, issue, etc that we were carrying around with us, and to write it on the slip of paper that had been provided to us. 

I cried.  I leaned into one of my best friends who has also lost a baby, and simply said "I just can't write it down."  She reminded me that it wasn't for that person, but for me.  I knew that if I wanted true freedom in Christ that I needed to "let go." 

As the sermon ended, we were asked to bring the slips of paper down front and rip them up at the altar...symbolizes "letting go."  I waited....my flesh and heart fought a hard battle.  The enemy kept reminding me of why I was "holding on," and my Savior kept me reminding me why I needed to "let go."  I wrote that name down, stood to my feet, and walked to the altar with my husband on one side and my friend behind me. 

As the song repeated..."break every chain, break every chain, break every chain," I tore that paper into tiny pieces and laid them at the altar.  It was in the coming weeks that I began to feel "free."  I was letting something that I could not and can not change, hold me back from truly enjoying this life. 

Are you living in the past?  Is there something or someone who has hurt you deeply that you just keep clinging to, and using as an excuse to why life is hard for you?  Is it something that you can not change...if so, let it go.  I have spent the last 4 years of my life bound to chains that I have no control over.  A situation that as much as my wish I could...I can not change.  I can't have him back in this life, so it is time I start truly enjoying the blessed life that I have here. 

Am I still  sad and upset at the situation...absolutely.  I miss him to the core of my being.  Watching my friends' 4 year olds hurts at times.  I am watching what I am missing out on.  However, holding on to the hurt/anger only makes me miss more of this life that I don't have to miss.

Listen to this song, and let your heart cry out to God.  Ask Him to heal that hurt.  Only He can set you free.  Forgiving is about forgiving the person/situation and the sin.  If we want God to forgive us, we must forgive as we wish to be forgiven...completely not half heartedly! 

Do not let the bondage of the past keep you from being truly free!  God can bring you hope and healing.  He is mighty to save!  Let the Holy Spirit stir something in you! 

I am fully aware that this is a journey...I will probably have to "let go" of the same thing for many years to come...but this is a great start!!!

Praise be to Jesus!

~Sharing Thirty- One~

I would like to extend an invitation to all of my wonderful blog readers.  The Thirty-One outlet sale will start tomorrow.  You just have visit my Thirty-One page and click on the "Outlet Sale" banner.  It is that easy!!  Products will be at a great discount!

I would also like to share something that may be life changing for someone.  Thirty-One is currently running an opportunity to join incentive!!  They will be reimbursing new consultants (April 16-May 30) the entire $99 for enrolling, if they submit $1000 in the their first 30 days. 

Not only would you get your kit FREE, you would also get $250 in commission and a great start for Dream Rewards.  I would love to share how Thirty-One has changed me and my family.  We are receiving blessing after blessing from this Christian based direct sales company.  Email me if you would like more information!!