A Vessel

It was my prayer yesterday for God to use me as a vessel that would touch and change lives that have been or are affected by infertility and/or infant loss.  Jesse and I were asked to be special guests on a taping of "The Praise the Lord Show" for our local TBN tv channel.  I was very hesitant and nervous about following God's request.  I talked the opportunity over with Jesse and decided that it was the right thing to do. 

Believe me when I say that the night before was a sleepless night.  I thought about all the things I wanted to say.  I also prayed that if we couldn't find the words in the moment that God would just speak through us.  I had Bible verses that I wanted to use to convey our message and story.  I had advice for those who are currently experiencing a broken heart.  I had words of wisdom for couples discouraged by months of failed cycles.  I had it all thought out the way I thought it should flow.  Either I forgot what I wanted to say or God changed what I was going to say.

I wanted to use words like; hope, grace, blessed.  Phrases like; "We stood in God's strength while we were weak,"  "You can give up the fight and rest, but be sure your at God's feet when you do,"  "God will carry you through," and "God will restore your joy."  I had bible verses that stood out to me during our trials (Ephesians 3:20, Isaiah 41:10, Philippians 4:6-7, Matthew 21:22, Joel 2:25,  Isaiah 61:3). 

Those who will watch this episode that will air on October 21 on Indianapolis Local TBN will not hear the words, phrases, and verses that I have mentioned.  Instead they will hear a heartfelt personal account of the events and trials that shape who we are today. 

I left the interview questioning whether or not we said the right things or answered all the questions the way we should have.  In fact I laid in bed last night thinking of everything I meant to say but didn't.  As I woke up this morning,  I thought to myself "what really helped you during your trials?...Was it constantly hearing bible verses or hearing phrases like the ones mentioned above that made all the difference?"  The answer is "no."  Hearing stories of what God has done and seeing couples "live again" was what kept me going. 

So, you won't get a rehearsed speech using God phrases, but rather a very real picture of a family that leaned on God when they couldn't stand on their own, a family that turned to God when giving up would have been easier, a family that has truly been blessed beyond measure.  I hope that looking at us is enough to see that God is alive in our hearts and He is the reason we have made it through.  

To God be all the Glory!!

 "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17

~milk maid monday~

I remember as a young child going to our neighbors dairy farm.  I thought it was the neatest thing; watching the cows getting attached to pumps.  I could watch for hours.  I also loved watching the milk pump into big tanks, and after a few hours you could see the separation of the milk fat.  We would visit on days when the large tanker trucks would come haul the milk away to be processed for sell. 

Well folks, I am pretty sure I am running my own dairy farm here in my home.  Yes, I feel like a dairy cow on most days.  I attach myself to a pump several times a day, and I watch as milk pumps into bottles.  I also watch as it seperates in my refrigerator.  So call it what you want.....  moo-moo monday, milk making, monday, mommy milk monday, or milk maid monday...it is all happening here!!!

I have nearly 200 bags of frozen milk!!  These won't last long, because we are now using them and not restocking...I can't keep up with the babies' increased feedings. 

Have a "moo-velous"  week!

ABSOLUTELY ALL BOY

Life around here is pretty crazy....and I LOVE it (most days!!)  Cayden gets ornerier everyday.  He really gets into things when I am rocking or feeding both babies.  He has figured out that my hands are full...and he can probably get away with doing things he shouldn't.  Here are just a few of the things that he has been up to...

* Stomping in the dog water.

* Stacking toys and climbing into the pack-n-play to jump around. 

* Getting filthy dirty with daddy.

* Climbing onto kitchen table. 
* Pooping on floor (didn't get picture...but wish I would have!!)
* Climbing onto toy box and then into changing table with Brock (for Brock's safety, I had to skip on taking this picture as well!)
* "Bopping" babies over the head with any toy that is handy. 
* Pulling laptop off couch, opening, and then opening everything possible!

* Making a crazy mess with all his books and toys.  (He is using his popcorn popper as a "jack" for his four-wheeler...he has seen daddy "jack" things up in the garage...and I found him doing this the other day...SMART BOY!!)

He is definitely ALL BOY.  I find myself falling more in love with him everyday, despite his ornery side.  I never knew my heart could be filled with such joy and love for one little boy.  My heart will be exploding when the twins get this age (or I will be insane!!)  I can't help but say "It may be a crazy life...but it is our life!"  hehe

Creating Memories...

I was so good about taking pictures (LOTS) of Cayden.  I think I took more than 20/day when he was little.  I find myself staring at the twins thinking "this would make an awesome picture."  However, the camera is to far away, I don't want to wake them up, or I am holding both and can't get up!!  I captured so many "memories" on camera or video with Cayden.  The twins are growing so fast, and I want to be sure to some how keep the memory of the baby stage alive...if only in pictures.  I recently made two photobooks of the twins' pictures.  I used shutterfly's new custom feature to make one of them.  It turned out fabulous.  It was a photobook of my pregnancy journal and their birth.  I also ordered a photomug for my dad with the kid on it.  I now have a stack of 200 prints that I need to get into photo albums...(something I was good at with Cayden's photos)..but I know these will stay in a large stack for now! 

Click here to view this photo book larger

I have been thinking a lot about Cayden's 2nd birthday party (Can you believe it is only 2 months away!!!)  I need to get out and take some pictures for his invitations.  I have 50 free cards to order from Shutterfly, so I need to get busy!!

“Have your own blog?  Register for a chance for a free photo book from Shutterfly  http://goo.gl/K5hUC” on your Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and other social media.

A little Big Brother love!!

~I would never..~

~ I would never wear the same pajamas that have been peed and puked on two nights in a row..and all day long!

~ I would never use a diaper (clean) as a burp cloth..because all the burp cloths are dirty!


~ I would never express my breastmilk in a bathroom stall..because I forgot to take my pump to town with me!


~ I would never admit that my toddler pooped on the floor and that the dogs commenced to eating it!


~ I would never allow my husband to place Cayden's new playset outside our living room picture window..and then watch said boy cry and scream for hours wanting to go "ou..si" (outside).


~ I would never allow my newborn son to make it a habit that he sleeps on my chest from 3am-6am...every night!!!


~ I would never laugh at the site of a carseat full of runny poop and a daughter that is covered in that same runny poop. (This never happened, especially not at a restaurant during lunch time!)
 
~And I would never really consider just putting a blanket over above situation and driving home to clean it up. 

~sweet sweet (corn) sunday~

~2 Months~

Another month has come and gone.  This month was a bit rough.  Both babies have been diagnosed with all day colic!  It started out being an evening only thing, but quickly progressed to being all day.  We tried EVERYTHING...gripe water, probiotics, chiropractor, car rides, running sweeper or dryer, gas drops, warm compresses to belly, swinging, bouncing....  The only thing that works is holding them very closely while swaddled.  Let me remind you that I have a 22 month old, so holding and rocking two babies all day (while this sounds wonderful) is IMPOSSIBLE.  I have a few great friends and family members that have spent a few days with me rocking babies!  I took Lynlee back to pediatrician a week ago because she was crying and screaming all day...much more than mommy knew was normal for a colicky baby.  He had me take her off breastmilk, and we started her on Nutramigen.  We did a week long trial, and I am happy (that stuff is EXPENSIVE) and sad to report that it didn't help.  She was puking way more on that than on breastmilk.  Brock has gotten much better, and I know that Lynlee won't be far behind.  These days won't last forever, and I welcome their cries, because afterall...I missed out on so many with Braxton.  Now for individual updates!! 

Brock Adam



~I weigh 8#3oz, 21in long!
~I now take Zantac to help with my reflux. 
~Mommy placed me on my belly for a little tummy time and when she returned to the room....I was on my back!!!  I rolled over on July 25.  (I haven't done it again, so mommy isn't sure to count it or not??)
~I have been full of smiles the last few days.  Here is a pic of one of my firsts!

~I eat 3 oz every 3 hours during the day.  I have been sleeping anywhere from 6-9 hours at night. 
~I am wearing newborn clothing and newborn diapers. 

Lynlee Grace

~I weigh 7#3oz and 20.5in.
~No more Apnea Monitor and caffeine free!!!!
~I eat 3oz every 3 hours during the day, and I sleep 6-9 hours at night!!

~I wear newborn clothes and diapers.
~I was on my belly on the floor on Aug 1, and when mommy came back to check on me...I was on my back!! 
~I have shown a few smiles, but I like to keep them for very special times. 
~I have been really uncomfortable this month, so all I want is to be held.

(this is what she looks like this month...if she isn't being held! poor baby..)