Saturday, August 9, 2008
I am utterly torn apart. I can't stop crying. I want my son back. I want my life back. I am scared to death that I am just going to fail at my new job. How will I ever make it through some days. I am serious...there are days that I cry all day...and I can't stop. How do I explain that to a new boss? I am never going to amount to anything anymore. I want to be able to function in everyday life, but I am so safe here at home. I can cry all day, or if I feel up to it....I can function. I need help. I need some advice. I am scared to death to venture out of my security/comfort zone. I am just a mess. Every song reminds me of my son that will never be here. I so want to just be at home with my baby, not at a cemetery crying over his lifeless body. Please pray for me tonight. I need extra support. I honestly feel like if I just died then I wouldn't have to be stressing over stupid meaningless stuff. Lord forgive me.
Posted by Daddy's Dream ~Mommy's Miracle at 11:02 PM