Saturday, September 13, 2008

i dont understand.......

this is news for everyone....I haven't told a soul. We thought we were pregnant again. All the symptoms, missed period, and I was sure God was telling me that it was finally "my time." After four very expensive pregnancy tests, it turns out I AM NOT. We are so confused. What is my body doing?? I don't know if I am coming or going. I don't know up from down or left from right. All I know is I miss my son and I want a big brother or sister for him. Is that to much to ask?? We were so excited......and once again we hit the bottom of the bottom....I am wondering if there really is a bottom....or if we are going to keep falling. Today I am doubting if God is really listening!

6 comments:

sccox said...

Not only is God listening, He is holding you up. Just imagine not having God. What an even darker thought....He is with you ALWAYS! Even when we don't feel Him. Just keep the faith that God has a unique an wonderful plan for you. He does. My mom went through 7 years of trustin in that promise. And she too was built up and and then let down time and time again. Tears and sorrow seemed the norm for awhile and the anger set in at times. and in the end God blessed her beyond measure. She herself could have never imagined the amazing plan that God had for her. Though doubtful at times, she never lost sight of God's promise that He will restore our sorrow with greater joy than we have ever known. So I guess that the moral to the story is to be patient and wait upon the Lord. THe Lord also asks us to be content in where He has places us. It's not easy and it is sure not fun. The rewards are amazing... YOu will have joy again!! I'm always here for you. My heart breaks for your disappointment and sorrow. I too in some way miss Braxton. I can't wait to really meet him someday. That "someday" will come before we know it. Trust in the Lord always!
-Susanne

Anonymous said...

I love you Destiny. Praying so hard for you and Jesse. Maybe this was in some way a stepping stone to the big positive coming?! Oh, hell I don't know either. Maybe it's not. All I know is I hope that it's coming soon just to see how amazing you and jess will feel. I can't describe how I feel about you and how when I read some of the things you write that I cry and just want to hug you and say I'm here-lean on me. I think i'm rambling-you know how I can do that:) Again, loving you!
~Amanda~

Anonymous said...

It has to be so difficult sometimes to understand that God's timing is so much different than ours. Sometimes it can seem that maybe God isn't listening, but he really does know best. Rejoice in all things, give praise to GOD! Don't try so hard to understand everything, just pray that God will lead you through each day and keep your chin up. Praying for you always....Amie

The Cantlons said...

Destiny,

I wish there was something I could say to make your pain go away. Please know that I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Jess

Krista said...

I don't know you, but saw a comment of yours on another blog. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my twin girls in July after dealing with infertility for years. I am still new to my loss and found so much comfort in reading through your posts and knowing that I am not alone in all my struggles.

Anne said...

My prayers are with you, thank you for your prayers for me too! Your time will come again to be pregnant, keep being patient God has a plan for you and it is wonderful! Stay positive!!!

 
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