Thursday, October 23, 2008

a year ago.....

it was this month one year ago that i felt the first innocent kick. i was at work and i thought i felt small air bubbles. later that night, i was laying flat on my back on the couch, and this is where i felt it again. oh, how i wish i could just feel it one more time. i long for those rib punches. the bigger he got, the more he nestled his little bottom up into my left rib. i would give endless "butt/back" rubs and he loved it. he would push out for more. every once in a while i swear i can still feel the innocent small kick just saying "mom, i am still right here." i know it really isn't a kick, but it sure is an amazing feeling.

as the fall sets in and winter hangs in the balance, i am constantly worried about him being "cold." as we put another log on the fire to keep our home cozy, i can't fathom that he has to lay in the cold crisp fall air. jesse tries to remind me that he is warm all the time, but i just can't seem to stop worrying. i want to take him a blanket every night. i want to hold him close and keep him warm. i want to lay down with him and cover his grave. i just want him here.

if you happen to read this entry, please pray that he is safe, warm, and happy in the Lord's arms. i am also praying that he is hand-picking a brother or sister for mommy and daddy to have here on Earth.

God Bless,


Anne said...

oh he is for sure warm and safe in the Lord's arms!!!

The Cantlons said...


I will definitely be thinking about you in the coming weeks. . . and praying for good things to come your way. I know this is easier said than done, but please try to remember that Braxton is safe and warm in the Lord's arms. God is taking great care of him. I will keep you, Jesse, & Braxton in my prayers. Love you and Miss you!!

AmandaHoyt said...

You are in my prayers, Destiny. I know that Braxton is safe in our Lord's loving arms.
Hugs and prayers,

Anonymous said...

Your son is completely covered in love and warmth - certainly by your love and God's & His heavenly hosts, but also from those of us who don't even know you but love and pray for you and your family from afar.

I think of you often and pray for you to be comforted and blessed with a sibling for Braxton.

becky said...


you are all three always in my prayers. Braxton is warm and happy, believe me, I use to worry about my dad and my father in law too thinking the same thing but once they are in heaven, they are warm and with all of our other loved ones and friends that have passed. Just think of him and his great great grandpa and grandma together along with his great uncle which would be my dad, i bet they are having a time and picking a special sibling to send to you for all you have been through.

Love Ya

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