Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Update 10:40 PM.... I didn't "fair" so well tonight. I bawled the entire way home. I laid on the ground at the cemetery. I made the decision to go on family night....dumb idea. There were babies and pregnant ladies everywhere. I was supposed to have the stroller with an adorable baby... but my hands were free. I am having an anxiety attack as I type...

Original Post......
I have really had a lot of anxiety issues around groups of people. One, no one ever says anything about my son. Two, I can't stand to see overwhelming happiness. But I have overcome one milestone.

We are big fans of 4-H and going to the fair. Jesse's little sis (aka Hannah) still shows sheep and swine. I knew we would be going and I was not scared this time. I mean as you know the fair is a big place around here. But, as I got out of the car, I just knew some others were going to be getting special attention for their new babies....and mine wasn't there to show. It made me bitter. And if I see one more pregnant lady, I might just scream in public.

Somewhere I pulled through as I continued to hear the words "relax, and know that I am God." God spoke to me. I was at a controllable level of calm. My husband even commended me numerous times "honey, I am so proud of you for making it through."

Wednesday is the swine show, and Jesse will be there by 7:30 am to help all day. I will go when I get out of bed. He helps run the show ring. The Grand Champion drive starts at 8 pm that night. I have to announce that their is going to be a "Braxton Lee Peters Above and Beyond Award." A new award in Braxton's name. We will be presenting it to a first year member. I would love to have you come out in Braxton's honor. I think that day will be ok too.

On another note. I have to find a job soon. I resigned from my last job, b/c I felt pressured to let my principal know, so he could hire someone else right away. I had an interview yesterday that I really would like to have. So please pray about my job calling as well.

And for a final thought...we are anxiously trying again for another baby. Send Baby Dust our way.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)


The Cantlons said...

I am definitely sending some baby dust your way. I have been thinking about you for the last two or three days. It is good to hear that some things are getting easier. I'm sorry that you felt pressure from Rob, and I hope that you find a new job soon. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers,

pholmes1980 said...

Last night was such a beautiful,touching way to honor Braxton's memory. I will look forward to watching you and Jesse present the award year after year.

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