stepping out in faith....

this is my goal for 2009. i am leaving it all up to Him. 2008 saw many bumps and bangs, but 2009 will be blessed. i believe.

2008 was an eye opener in many senses of the word. we learned that....
~life is short.
braxton's life was only in the womb. it didn't get to breathe our air, he didn't get to see his mommy and daddy. we had no forewarning, no idea, no aura.....he was just gone in a split second.

~you don't know what you have until its gone.
jesse and i took the pregnancy for granted. we just wanted the baby here. there were not enough "i love you's." there was no book reading.

~family is so important.
we would have never made it through without the love of family. they were there from the beginning and will be until the end. they are there for midnight calls just to listen to me cry. they are there when we just need someone to visit with. we love you all dearly.

~in difficult times, you find out who your friends are.
first and foremost, braxton passed away at 3:45 am....and within hours my closest friends were there. Emily and Jason, Stephanie, Sunny....and about 60 others! they not only came that day, but they were there everyday....
Emily, thanks for the countless tears, talks, and visits. your not only a best friend, you are my sister!
Stephanie, although we don't get together often, please know that your friendship means more than anything. hopefully someday, i will be able to join "mommy's club."
Sunny, i don't know where we lost touch...but i am so glad we found it. you were more than rock shortly after our loss. you brightened my days. i can't explain it exactly, but i know those around me saw a huge difference after a day of visiting with you. the scrapbooks are amazing...they keep his memory alive everyday.
Suzanne, you helped me understand God's ways. you were the one that kept our Faith alive. for this, there are not enough words to say thank-you.
Autumn, Brooke, Lindsay, and Jessica, you reminded me that i did mean something at western boone. your continued friendship has been a blessing.
there are so many others that have emailed, called, prayed, etc. i would be here all day listing names. please know that your efforts have not gone unnoticed. i love you all dearly and appreciate the true value of friendship.

~God is # 1 in our life's.
we committed our life's to Jesus in March and haven't looked back. yes, there are days that i quite frankly don't understand a single life event. i have been flying on the wings of angels for almost one year, and i don't want to come down.

~money is overrated.
~God will provide in times of need.
i was unable to return to work this past year, i was to emotionally torn up. i took time off for myself during the worst economic times. however, we managed to make it through. i am happy to say that i still have some money in savings. and above all, we were still able to tithe 10% on most weeks. God has provided for us.

~you can make new friends, but keep the old!
i specifically have reunited with many friends from my past. i always carried a heavy weight (and i still do at times) about what people thought about me. it turns out that what i thought they thought...really wasn't true at all. times change and people change. i am not the same girl i was 10 years ago. i am not the same woman i was 1 year ago. i am a new me. i have had lunch "dates" with numerous friends from high school. i am excited that there is a group of us starting monthly get-together s.

we are praying for a blessed 2009. we know that braxton's heavenly birthday will be difficult, but we are really hoping that a new baby brother or sister would be an excellent birthday gift.
jesse and i are going to try in-vitro one more time. i started medications on 1/3/09. if all goes as planned this time, egg retrieval will be on the 27th. please help lift us up in prayer. we will find out the results days prior to braxton's birthday. may God's will be done in 2009.

we wish you all the best in 2009.