slap in the face....

I have forgiven and I have to do so everyday, but I will never forget . I left the hospital with a feeling that maybe just maybe something was terribly wrong with Braxton. Or maybe the cord really did cause the trauma. I accepted that.....then three weeks later I get to read this.....

*deleted*

The wound was reopened. And to this day it remains bigger than ever. How can someone be so thoughtless, how can several people look you in the eyes and sincerely say "we have no idea." or "do you hear that, it is your baby's heartbeat" (when in fact it was mine all along). We trusted these people. You trust these people. If anything, I want to raise awareness for medical negligences cases. Do you know how many people have walked from those doors empty handed and truly thought it was all just a freak accident. They sugarcoated everything and tried to sweep my son "under the rug."

Were you there did you see a crazy lady screaming for the baby she couldn't take home. Did you stop and pray or did you calmly walk away?? Did you see her grabbing frantically at every thing in sight. She left that day without the baby she nurtured, loved, and longed for. There were things she had planned. There were dreams they had. Did you see the entire family sobbing as they watched a baby being taken from its mother? Now, she lies awake and sobs at night, while "they" sleep and work on.

Forgivenes is hard to do, but my Lord demands it. So that is what I do. I rest in knowing that heaven is Braxton's home and that is all he will ever know.