Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Today, I feel like Braxton's death is a life sentence of anguish and pain. There is something everyday that sparks feelings of sadness or anger. (There are days when I have LOTS of happiness too, but today is not one of them.) Read on to hear what life seems to be like.
~ Every 14 of the month is a reminder of just how old he should be.
~ Ambien, Xanax, and anti-depressants are necessary parts of our medicine cabinet, just so I can cope.
~ Losing Braxton made me a very clingy, dependent person...this is not healthy for my marriage!
~ Nothing can fully satisfy me. There is forever a hole in my heart.
~ Time did not erase anything!
~ Seeing other children his "age" makes me wonder why, what if, how?
~ Planning a birthday party for Cayden seems unfair to Braxton...all I ever got to "give" him was a headstone.
~ I am overprotective (Cayden will hate this when he grows up.)
~ I am moody and can snap at any moment for unknown reasons.
~ I should know what to say to my friends who are walking closely behind my footsteps...however all I can do is cry for them.
~ Constantly live trying to balance sadness and happiness at the same time (this is extremely difficult.)
Posted by Daddy's Dream ~Mommy's Miracle at 7:07 PM