wow...

I know, I know it has been two weeks since I last posted...WOW! I have been reading and checking blogs on a daily basis, but I have been so tired, that the thought of having to think about writing something was tiring! I started back to work full time as a kindergarten teacher. Wow, these kids have a lot of energy. Not to mention, they are completely different than jr/sr high students! I love and adore each and every one of them though.

The baby is growing right on track. Yesterday we had our nine week appt. We got to see the babies arms, legs, and body moving. He/She was jumping all around. It looked like it was using the sac as a trampoline!!!! It was a very bittersweet moment for us. We were both ecstatic. This was our last appt with the specialist, and it was very emotional. I hate goodbyes, so I cried and then he and his wife(his nurse) cried. He hugged me and told me that he wanted to see pictures of this baby crying in my arms. I really wanted to hear the heartbeat, and he wanted to see if the clinic would use the newer US machine, but I didn't have a lot of time. I couldn't figure out why "hearing" the heartbeat meant so much to me, when I could see it. Laying in bed last night it dawned on me. Hearing Braxton's heartbeat was the only sign of life that I ever knew, so that sound is so bittersweet to my ears. I know that I can see it, but I need to hear it to be sure. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it makes sense to me.

I will leave you with our 7 week and 9 week pictures of our "shooting star." The 9 week is blury, but you can see the head, arms, and legs if you look closely (and if you know what you are looking at!)

7 weeks


9 weeks

I promise to update sooner next time.....

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.
Psalm 1:24

"Bubby's Song"

i heard this on the radio yesterday on my way to the cemetery. i changed the lyrics to make it fit our situation.....and i cried!

Why did he have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young man
grandson, baby, son
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe

He flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And he walks with Jesus and his loved ones waiting
And I know he's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

Loved ones he left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe

He flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And he walks with Jesus and his loved ones waiting
And I know he's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

It's hard to say goodbye
His picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause

He flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And he walks with Jesus and his loved ones waiting
And I know he's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me

meet our "little star"

today was the day for our first ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and to see how many little ones there might be. jesse was really nervous and convinced we would see two. mommy instincts were for just one. the dr. informed us that we were about two days early to see a heartbeat, but that we would indeed see the gestational sac(s). as we started the US, we saw one very evident sac. the dr confirmed that there was indeed ONE very HEALTHY sac. they nurse kept looking around the US.......and all of the sudden I noticed a small pulse on the screen.... i shouted "hey look" and sure enough there was a beautiful heartbeat. it was almost as if the little one was saying "hey mom, look right here, i may be small, but i am here and going strong." it was amazing...the nurse even had tears. we are so excited. i am not disappointed one bit that we didn't get two. i am a bit grieved for the life that didn't continue, but we are optismic! God is AWESOME. we have another US next wednesday! thanks so much for the continued prayers, thoughts, and emails. you all are wonderful. here is a picture of our "little star."

Braxton makes the front page of local newspaper......

Here is the article and pictures that were on the front page of our local newspaper... sorry for the picture quality (they are scanned images!)

notice the t-shirt....this is how we made the official
announcement....WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!

DAYTON -- Destiny and Jesse Peters of Lafayette were on cloud nine when their first child, Braxton Lee Peters, was about to be born on Valentine's Day 2008.But there were complications during birth. Their son didn't make it.

On Saturday, the couple, along with about 30 family and friends, gathered at Wyandotte Cemetery south of Dayton to celebrate their son's first birthday next to his grave.

There were a lot of tears. But there was joy when the couple dropped a bombshell.

They're expecting again.

"We just found out yesterday," Destiny said.

"It's possible there's more than one."

That announcement brought shouts of exultation from people surrounding Braxton's tiny grave site marked by a very large headstone.

But Saturday was mostly about Braxton.

With balloons in hand, people read a few messages and poems, then prayed together in a semicircle around the grave, marked by stuffed animals, toy cars and a couple of shirts.

As they sang "Happy Birthday" to Braxton, people released balloons, each with an attached message to the boy.

"Without his life, some of the people might never have been touched," Destiny's friend Susanne Cox said.

"We come over to tuck Braxton in every night," Destiny said, noting the past year had been very rough.

"My husband and I have grown closer as a couple and with our family. If it hadn't been for God, we would have never made it through."

As he hugged others in the group, Jesse reflected on the past year.

"We've learned to accept our son is in heaven," he said. "He's in a much better place than we are."

Destiny's mother, Sherry Rader, tried to keep her tears at bay. "First grandbaby," she said. "It's hard. But we got there and we're gonna make it."

The fact that her daughter is pregnant again is "exciting," Rader said. "But I'll never forget Braxton."

happy birthday son....

Braxton Lee,
Happy Heavenly Birthday. I can't believe you would be turning one today.. You are still a tiny, innocent, perfect baby in my eyes. Daddy and I miss you more everyday, and we long for the day that we will all meet again. We are saddened because we had so many plans and dreams to share with you. You will always be our first born , and another baby could never take that place. We will meet with friends and family and celebrate your heavenly birthday. We will sing the birthday song just the same and eat lots of ice cream cake. Try and catch all the letters we are sending your way. We love you Braxton Lee...

Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy and Daddy

Wordless Wednesday....

These are the first pics of "our shooting stars." They looked just like shooting stars as they were being placed inside my womb. All of them are together by the arrows!!!

One year old......

I can't believe he will be one year old. I can't even fathom seeing him walking and talking. I just see him as a precious infant that is absolutely perfect in God's eyes. We are going to CELEBRATE his heavenly birthday. We want this to be a day of joy and not sorrow (though I know lots of tears will be shed!) We are going to "send letters to Heaven," and I would like to include any of my fellow blog readers letters as well. I can't express how much many of you have helped me through this difficult year. Losing our son change our entire lives.....there is nothing the same. I must say "thank-you" for all the emails, prayers, thoughts, and more prayers.

So, if you would like, please leave Braxton a "note," and I will be sure that it is attached to a balloon.